A SUBJECT that unfortunately is on our minds today is bullying. Some children’s lives become a living hell because they’ve become the targets of a bully or several bullies. Death is the outcome in extreme cases. It is not unknown for a victim to commit suicide to escape from bullying. It appears to me that the attack on this outrage must be two pronged. We must help the victim and protect him physically and psychologically. And we must realize that the bully also desperately needs our help.

じめ”が深刻な社会問題となっています。いじめの標的となり、生き地獄の日々に耐えている子供がいます。死に至る場合さえあります。いじめを受 けている子供が地獄から逃れるために自殺 するのです。これについては2つのことを考えなければな らないと思います。いじめを受けている子供を助け、心身 ともに守ると同時に、いじめる側も助けを必要としている ことを理解する必要があります。

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A 30-year veteran Marriage Family and Child therapist, mother of five, and grandmother of 10, Lorraine Al-Jamie helps parents to acquire skills that enhance their ability to raise high-functioning and happy children.

The Terrible Twos and Adolescence

Although the terrible twos and adolescence seem far apart, they have much in common. Both are times when children feel a great need for autonomy. Since parents are well aware that children still need us to guide them, we cannot just throw our hands up and give them the freedom they want even though at times we may all be tempted to do so.

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30-year veteran Marriage Family and Child Therapist and mother of 5 assists parents in acquiring skills that enhance their ability to raise high-functioning and happy children.

Respect

What outcome are we aiming for?

It is almost universally agreed that the most important job in the world is raising a child, and yet, it is often something we undertake without any preparation. Generally, we parent as we were parented and sometimes this leads to a positive outcome. However, we are not always clear about what outcome we are aiming for.

Blind obedience?

Do we want our children to be blindly obedient? In some cases, “yes.” For example when we shout “STOP” when our child is about to step into oncoming traffic without looking. But how about when we call them to come to us when they are in the middle of some task that is important to them? Are we willing to hear “just a minute, I’m playing a video game.” For some, that is a natural and acceptable response. For others it may feel like defiance. What makes for that difference in our reaction? Generally, it is in the tone of the relationship we have developed with that child.

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